"But can you fake it for just one more show?" [2009-2010 School Year: Band]

"Despite all my rage, I am still just a rat in a cage."-Bullet With Butterfly Wings, Smashing Pumpkins

Truer words were never spoken about the Music Industry in a song. I whole hearted agree with Billy Corgan about the music industry in that quote. This blog is going to take a break from Misfits and Good Kids mania and focus on my career in school band.

Last year, during the 2009-2010 school year, I first started out in a school band. I wanted to play percussion because Jimmy Chamberlin inspired me to be a percussionist. I wanted to be as great a percussionist as him. I wasn't in band any of my previous years, and I didn't know the notes all too well. The school also got a new band teacher that year, and I expected the new band teacher to help me with learning all of the stuff I didn't know.

The first thing that was needed was a new band kit, which would end up costing somewhere around $60. My family had some difficulties with getting the band kit and stuff, due to some personal matters. Every Friday, Percussion had sectionals during our Related Arts rotations in the beginning of the day. Our percussion section was full of loud boys, and I was one of only two girls in percussion. I ended up making one friend that was in my percussion section, and for privacy reasons we'll refer to him as "Bruce".

Bruce and I became good friends throughout the school year that year, and Bruce is a great percussionist. He helped me quite possibly more than my band teacher did that year. At band, I was treated quite well...at least, for the first few months. Then, the pressure was on me to get the stuff I needed from the music store and my family was still having difficulties. I was being yelled at in band alot, and I felt the pressure to be perfect. I felt like I really wasn't going to amount to anything.

Bruce had a helper- Mr. S. Mr. S and I also rapidly became friends. He had a humorous personality, and could also be sarcastic at times. He actually saw progress in me when I thought I wasn't making any. I also remember that once in sectionals, I was saying that I wasn't as good as other percussionists. Then my sectionals teacher said to me that the other percussionists had been there longer than I have and that she expected them to be better than I. She also once told me that if I were to learn the notes that I would take off.

Learning music can be a hard process and it could take longer for some than it could take for others. At the middle of the year, I was basically faking my way through some concerts and faking my way through band. I felt like a failure. I considered quitting a few times because I felt like I wasn't good enough. Whenever I thought about quitting, I would stop to think "Would Jimmy Chamberlin quit?" and that gave me the motivation to continue my career in band.

The yelling continued, and the year went on with me still not having a band kit. Sometimes, I felt like I was making progress but not enough progress. School life also had great difficulties as well. I was being bullied quite a bit and I didn't have a great outlook on life. At one point, my band teacher once told me that I was going to have to learn some things on my own. I thought that she was implying that I was going to have to learn the notes on my own.

I didn't know how I was going to learn the notes and become as good as the other band members in a short and timely fashion. My sectionals teacher soon became a great help and helped me learn the notes, but I would soon forget them. I didn't have the materials I needed at my house to practice at home. I wanted to become better, but I hated the fact that I was having so many problems. I still felt like I had to be perfect.

Some of the other percussionists would help me from time to time, including Bruce. Bruce would often help me figure out the notes so that I could play the song correctly. I came into the band solely on inspiration, and found out that band was nothing like I had expected it to be.

More on my band life from this school year and last year will be coming as soon as I remember it all.

-Epiphany