Thursday, December 23, 2010
"But can you fake it for just one more show?" [2009-2010 School Year: Band]
"Despite all my rage, I am still just a rat in a cage."-Bullet With Butterfly Wings, Smashing Pumpkins
Truer words were never spoken about the Music Industry in a song. I whole hearted agree with Billy Corgan about the music industry in that quote. This blog is going to take a break from Misfits and Good Kids mania and focus on my career in school band.
Last year, during the 2009-2010 school year, I first started out in a school band. I wanted to play percussion because Jimmy Chamberlin inspired me to be a percussionist. I wanted to be as great a percussionist as him. I wasn't in band any of my previous years, and I didn't know the notes all too well. The school also got a new band teacher that year, and I expected the new band teacher to help me with learning all of the stuff I didn't know.
The first thing that was needed was a new band kit, which would end up costing somewhere around $60. My family had some difficulties with getting the band kit and stuff, due to some personal matters. Every Friday, Percussion had sectionals during our Related Arts rotations in the beginning of the day. Our percussion section was full of loud boys, and I was one of only two girls in percussion. I ended up making one friend that was in my percussion section, and for privacy reasons we'll refer to him as "Bruce".
Bruce and I became good friends throughout the school year that year, and Bruce is a great percussionist. He helped me quite possibly more than my band teacher did that year. At band, I was treated quite well...at least, for the first few months. Then, the pressure was on me to get the stuff I needed from the music store and my family was still having difficulties. I was being yelled at in band alot, and I felt the pressure to be perfect. I felt like I really wasn't going to amount to anything.
Bruce had a helper- Mr. S. Mr. S and I also rapidly became friends. He had a humorous personality, and could also be sarcastic at times. He actually saw progress in me when I thought I wasn't making any. I also remember that once in sectionals, I was saying that I wasn't as good as other percussionists. Then my sectionals teacher said to me that the other percussionists had been there longer than I have and that she expected them to be better than I. She also once told me that if I were to learn the notes that I would take off.
Learning music can be a hard process and it could take longer for some than it could take for others. At the middle of the year, I was basically faking my way through some concerts and faking my way through band. I felt like a failure. I considered quitting a few times because I felt like I wasn't good enough. Whenever I thought about quitting, I would stop to think "Would Jimmy Chamberlin quit?" and that gave me the motivation to continue my career in band.
The yelling continued, and the year went on with me still not having a band kit. Sometimes, I felt like I was making progress but not enough progress. School life also had great difficulties as well. I was being bullied quite a bit and I didn't have a great outlook on life. At one point, my band teacher once told me that I was going to have to learn some things on my own. I thought that she was implying that I was going to have to learn the notes on my own.
I didn't know how I was going to learn the notes and become as good as the other band members in a short and timely fashion. My sectionals teacher soon became a great help and helped me learn the notes, but I would soon forget them. I didn't have the materials I needed at my house to practice at home. I wanted to become better, but I hated the fact that I was having so many problems. I still felt like I had to be perfect.
Some of the other percussionists would help me from time to time, including Bruce. Bruce would often help me figure out the notes so that I could play the song correctly. I came into the band solely on inspiration, and found out that band was nothing like I had expected it to be.
More on my band life from this school year and last year will be coming as soon as I remember it all.
-Epiphany
Sunday, November 28, 2010
The Star System/The Name "Misfits and Good Kids" [Misfits and Good Kids Era 1]
I cannot remember if my fourth grade teacher explained the star system the day of or a few days after the misfits and good kids table arrangements. However, I do remember that she explained to us that to get into the "good group", we would have to earn a certain amount of stars. To earn the stars, you would have to have good behavior or good grades. You could keep progress with how many stars you earned very easily....the star board was located right behind the teacher's desk.
The star board wasn't updated very often. Most kids that were misfits (like myself) stayed in the misfit groups for weeks at a time. Likewise, the groups were updated every few weeks or so. In late December (or early January), I came up with the name "Misfits and Good Kids". It came out of randomness, and it really stuck. I even had a last in my room at one point of which students were misfits and which students were good kids.
My dream was to create a book series called "Misfits and Good Kids" and let everyone know about the misfits and good kids tables, with some events tweaked and other events made up so that the books would become bestseller and top notch. In April 2009, that dream came true. I began the Misfits and Good Kids series with a novel published on Lulu.com (a self publishing website) called "Misfits and Good Kids: The Split".
-Epiphany Thomas.
The star board wasn't updated very often. Most kids that were misfits (like myself) stayed in the misfit groups for weeks at a time. Likewise, the groups were updated every few weeks or so. In late December (or early January), I came up with the name "Misfits and Good Kids". It came out of randomness, and it really stuck. I even had a last in my room at one point of which students were misfits and which students were good kids.
My dream was to create a book series called "Misfits and Good Kids" and let everyone know about the misfits and good kids tables, with some events tweaked and other events made up so that the books would become bestseller and top notch. In April 2009, that dream came true. I began the Misfits and Good Kids series with a novel published on Lulu.com (a self publishing website) called "Misfits and Good Kids: The Split".
-Epiphany Thomas.
....And We Were Divided. [Misfits and Good Kids 1 Era]
This is the part where I talk about the events that inspired my book series, Misfits and Good Kids. This blog discusses the first day of the actual misfits and good kids tables, and this is where everything started. The reason this is marked "Misfits and Good Kids 1 Era" is because my teacher once started the misfits and good kids tables, converted back to regular tables, and then started the misfits and good kids tables back up again for the rest of the year.
I remember walking into my fourth grade classroom one December morning, and something felt awry. I had been absent the day before, and I had worked on some sort of project. I came to school that morning and I was seated by some of the other smartest people in the class (the whole class was a gifted classroom, yet some were smarter than others). I knew that something had to have been going on. I believe my fourth grade teacher asked me if I did my homework or some missing assignment,and because I was absent the day before I said no.
I was then immediately moved to a new table after I said no. I had no idea why I was moved, or what was happening. I just knew that something was up. Right next to me was another boy that was moved from the table where I was, and I said to him "Welcome to our group!". I had previously had a crush on him in third grade, and I felt the need to introduce him. I had some sort of pride, and I was only nine.
I introduced other people. Eventually, the table that had all of the smartest kids had all but 2 kids put into other groups. The two remaining- my then best friend and a female-the smartest in the class,a real goodie-two shoes- who I will call Marie. The teacher would give the 2 kids candy for being in the good group, while the rest of us watched in anger, jealousy, and disbelief.
The rest of us would end up getting disciplinary referrals. These referrals weren't used for handing out detentions and suspensions like they usually were. These referrals were being handed out to list the missing assignments you had. Likewise, if you got 3 missing assignments at this school, you were handed a lunch detention. Lunch detentions were served in the in-school suspension room.
I was at 1 one the three misfit tables because I didn't do the project correctly, and that counted as two missing assignments. I had to watch myself, because if I didn't do another assignment, I would get a lunch detention. The class was outraged, and no one liked the tables. Everyone that at first that they were going to be handed a lunch detention along with the referral that stated their missing assignments.
The outrage was displayed in our class at lunch that day.* The kids were angry that my best friend- that I'll call Stacy- was in the good group. They complained that Stacy had missing assignments and for that reason, she shouldn't be in the good group. I went home that day, and I remember writing in my assignment journal- "Get disciplinary referral signed!!". Most of the time, I was a really good kid and I had never gotten a disciplinary referral before.
The only detentions I had recieved were in third grade and those were for being tardy to school, or for having a missing assignment in third grade. I left school that day, knowing that from that day foward, school wouldn't be the same.
-Epiphany Thomas.
* "The outrage was displayed in our class at lunch that day." =At this school, they originally didn't have cafeterias. We usually ate in our classrooms. The school recently got parts of it rebuilt, and they added a cafeteria as a part of the reconstruction.
I remember walking into my fourth grade classroom one December morning, and something felt awry. I had been absent the day before, and I had worked on some sort of project. I came to school that morning and I was seated by some of the other smartest people in the class (the whole class was a gifted classroom, yet some were smarter than others). I knew that something had to have been going on. I believe my fourth grade teacher asked me if I did my homework or some missing assignment,and because I was absent the day before I said no.
I was then immediately moved to a new table after I said no. I had no idea why I was moved, or what was happening. I just knew that something was up. Right next to me was another boy that was moved from the table where I was, and I said to him "Welcome to our group!". I had previously had a crush on him in third grade, and I felt the need to introduce him. I had some sort of pride, and I was only nine.
I introduced other people. Eventually, the table that had all of the smartest kids had all but 2 kids put into other groups. The two remaining- my then best friend and a female-the smartest in the class,a real goodie-two shoes- who I will call Marie. The teacher would give the 2 kids candy for being in the good group, while the rest of us watched in anger, jealousy, and disbelief.
The rest of us would end up getting disciplinary referrals. These referrals weren't used for handing out detentions and suspensions like they usually were. These referrals were being handed out to list the missing assignments you had. Likewise, if you got 3 missing assignments at this school, you were handed a lunch detention. Lunch detentions were served in the in-school suspension room.
I was at 1 one the three misfit tables because I didn't do the project correctly, and that counted as two missing assignments. I had to watch myself, because if I didn't do another assignment, I would get a lunch detention. The class was outraged, and no one liked the tables. Everyone that at first that they were going to be handed a lunch detention along with the referral that stated their missing assignments.
The outrage was displayed in our class at lunch that day.* The kids were angry that my best friend- that I'll call Stacy- was in the good group. They complained that Stacy had missing assignments and for that reason, she shouldn't be in the good group. I went home that day, and I remember writing in my assignment journal- "Get disciplinary referral signed!!". Most of the time, I was a really good kid and I had never gotten a disciplinary referral before.
The only detentions I had recieved were in third grade and those were for being tardy to school, or for having a missing assignment in third grade. I left school that day, knowing that from that day foward, school wouldn't be the same.
-Epiphany Thomas.
* "The outrage was displayed in our class at lunch that day." =At this school, they originally didn't have cafeterias. We usually ate in our classrooms. The school recently got parts of it rebuilt, and they added a cafeteria as a part of the reconstruction.
Sunday, July 18, 2010
July 15th,2009/July 15th,2010
Song listened to at beginning of writing this blog, (iTunes shuffle chooses these songs): "Make it So"-The Dickies, from Idjit Savant
It was the one year anniversary of the death of my kitten on July 15th,2009. I awoke sometime after 7:00 that morning (I think it was around 7:05-7:12), still shooken up from the 2 nightmares I had that night. One nightmare was of me in a log cabin. There was a black alarm digital alarm clock that said "3:01". I was trying to turn the radio to find the alternative rock station Q101 (Chicagoland radio station), but instead I got static. I believe that at the end of the dream, there was something screaming at me which abruptly woke me from my sleep.
So, I think to myself, "Ok, back to sleep, maybe I can get a good dream this time." Unfortunately, I didn't have a better/good dream. I instead continued to have nightmares. In this nightmare,I looked in the mirror, but I couldn't see my own face. Then, the grim reaper came behind me and pushed me into the bathtub...but while I was being pushed in the bathtub, I realized I was dreaming. I tried to remember what I could about lucid dreaming, and I screamed "Jimmy,Jimmy,Jimmy!" and tried to wait for Jimmy Chamberlin to appear and save me from this lucid nightmare (as I am a huge fan of his), but instead I just fell into the bathtub to die.
Sure enough in the months to follow, I learned some freaky stuff that was tied into those 2 nightmares that I previously hadn't learned. I learned that Jonathan Melvoin,keyboardist of the Smashing Pumpkins,had his funeral on July 15th. He also died in room 301 (SOURCE: The Smoking Gun) on the night of July 12th,1996 (I was born at 7:12 PM). Jimmy Chamberlin was told to stick Jonathan Melvoin in a cold shower/bathtub to save him. :O Haunting coincidences.
On July 15th on this year,I woke up in near tears. I must've almost cried about 4 times. THe day turned better when I planned to hang out with my best friend,Tara, the very next day. :D Also, I went to the gym and saw my "gym crush" there. (*blushes*)
And sure enough, I drempt of Jonathan Melvoin that very same night. (In this dream, he was a highly saught after cable man!) :D
To a great future,
Epiphany Thomas. :)
It was the one year anniversary of the death of my kitten on July 15th,2009. I awoke sometime after 7:00 that morning (I think it was around 7:05-7:12), still shooken up from the 2 nightmares I had that night. One nightmare was of me in a log cabin. There was a black alarm digital alarm clock that said "3:01". I was trying to turn the radio to find the alternative rock station Q101 (Chicagoland radio station), but instead I got static. I believe that at the end of the dream, there was something screaming at me which abruptly woke me from my sleep.
So, I think to myself, "Ok, back to sleep, maybe I can get a good dream this time." Unfortunately, I didn't have a better/good dream. I instead continued to have nightmares. In this nightmare,I looked in the mirror, but I couldn't see my own face. Then, the grim reaper came behind me and pushed me into the bathtub...but while I was being pushed in the bathtub, I realized I was dreaming. I tried to remember what I could about lucid dreaming, and I screamed "Jimmy,Jimmy,Jimmy!" and tried to wait for Jimmy Chamberlin to appear and save me from this lucid nightmare (as I am a huge fan of his), but instead I just fell into the bathtub to die.
Sure enough in the months to follow, I learned some freaky stuff that was tied into those 2 nightmares that I previously hadn't learned. I learned that Jonathan Melvoin,keyboardist of the Smashing Pumpkins,had his funeral on July 15th. He also died in room 301 (SOURCE: The Smoking Gun) on the night of July 12th,1996 (I was born at 7:12 PM). Jimmy Chamberlin was told to stick Jonathan Melvoin in a cold shower/bathtub to save him. :O Haunting coincidences.
On July 15th on this year,I woke up in near tears. I must've almost cried about 4 times. THe day turned better when I planned to hang out with my best friend,Tara, the very next day. :D Also, I went to the gym and saw my "gym crush" there. (*blushes*)
And sure enough, I drempt of Jonathan Melvoin that very same night. (In this dream, he was a highly saught after cable man!) :D
To a great future,
Epiphany Thomas. :)
Delsym Reality [2009]
It was October 2009, and I had horrible allergies. I was coughing a lot (I can't remember how many times an hour or day)...and therfore,my mom went out it the drugstore to get a powerful cough syrup called "Delsym". I didn't know that the active ingredient in the medicine called dextromethorphan (DXM for short) was a hallucinogen in the dissociative class. To make matters seem even more disasterous, I went to school the morning I took the Delsym for my cough. In addition, I hadn't eaten anything before I took the Delsym. The Delsym was grape (Purple).
I went to school feeling fine at first, but by the time lunch rolled around (11:35AM),I felt dissociated and not in reality. I even forgot I was in school, and began to see this Purple image when I closed my eyes. I was in a dreamlike state, feeling half awake and half dead (sleepy/tired). Everyone's loud talking seemed slowed and slurred, and I felt kinda high (in reality,I was robo tripping my brains out w/o my knowledge at the time). I told someone that I forgot I was in school,and that person said "You're lucky!".
By band time (which is directly after lunch),I almost fell asleep on the bass drum. My band teacher began to get a fiery temper upon seeing me almost fall asleep, calling it "disrespectful", but she probably didn't know about the Delsym thing. I promised her it wouldn't happen again. As I went up to my locker my good male friend tried to scare me, and I felt this strange sensation all over my body that replaced the normal scared/shocked feeling I got when he would "scare" me. It was a numbing sensation that was hard to describe...yet easy to remember.
The Delsym high wore off by the time I got home, and I told my mother about the Delsym high over the phone. My mom was angry that no one notified her about the fact that I almost fell asleep on the bass drum. Also, she said I probably took too much Delsym on accident.
I still take Delsym for a cough, but not too much. Here's a psychedelic Smashing Pumpkins instrumental to go with the nature of DXM and this blog:
I went to school feeling fine at first, but by the time lunch rolled around (11:35AM),I felt dissociated and not in reality. I even forgot I was in school, and began to see this Purple image when I closed my eyes. I was in a dreamlike state, feeling half awake and half dead (sleepy/tired). Everyone's loud talking seemed slowed and slurred, and I felt kinda high (in reality,I was robo tripping my brains out w/o my knowledge at the time). I told someone that I forgot I was in school,and that person said "You're lucky!".
By band time (which is directly after lunch),I almost fell asleep on the bass drum. My band teacher began to get a fiery temper upon seeing me almost fall asleep, calling it "disrespectful", but she probably didn't know about the Delsym thing. I promised her it wouldn't happen again. As I went up to my locker my good male friend tried to scare me, and I felt this strange sensation all over my body that replaced the normal scared/shocked feeling I got when he would "scare" me. It was a numbing sensation that was hard to describe...yet easy to remember.
The Delsym high wore off by the time I got home, and I told my mother about the Delsym high over the phone. My mom was angry that no one notified her about the fact that I almost fell asleep on the bass drum. Also, she said I probably took too much Delsym on accident.
I still take Delsym for a cough, but not too much. Here's a psychedelic Smashing Pumpkins instrumental to go with the nature of DXM and this blog:
Welcome to my blog! [2010]
Hello and welcome to this beautiful blog of mine! My name is Epiphany Thomas. This blog is for memories of/confessions of mine. It's crazy how my life has evolved,especially over the past 2 years.
Enjoy this blog, please comment when you can,and as always, I enjoy feedback. :)
Cheers and Love,
Epiphany L. Thomas.
Enjoy this blog, please comment when you can,and as always, I enjoy feedback. :)
Cheers and Love,
Epiphany L. Thomas.
Subscribe to:
Comments (Atom)